Via: Online Schools

HT: Technologizer

I have a solution for you. Using the power of the twibbon, a twitter ribbon (available for Facebook as well), you can now support ALL the wonderful causes in the world with just one twibbon.

With this twibbon, you can let the world know that you truly care and support their cause, because you support ALL causes. Not only that, but you can encourage your friends to do the same. So what are you waiting for?! Support everything now!

Add a twibbon to your twitter or Facebook account.

Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is an exciting program. I’ll explain it using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China … If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India . If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala .. and If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea .

And If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan . and If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1- spending it at yard sales, or

2- going to ball games, or

3- spending it on hookers, or

4- beer or

5- tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the US .)

Conclusion:

You can help America by going to a ball game and drinking beer all day with a tattooed hooker you met at a yard sale.

There is nobody who does not know a Puerto Rican, or at least knows someone who knows a Puerto Rican.

Anyway, once a wise teacher said:

What is a Puerto Rican?

His response was ah, Puerto Ricans … that difficult question! Puerto Ricans are among us but not from us. Puerto Ricans drink from the same cup joy and sorrow. They make music of their sorrow and laugh about their music.

Puerto Ricans take jokes seriously and make jokes of the serious things. They do not believe in anyone but believe everything. Don’t you dare argue with them, ever!

Puerto Ricans are born with wisdom. They don’t need to read, they know everything! They don’t need to travel, they have seen everything! Puerto Ricans are like the chosen people, and they choose themselves.

Puerto Ricans are characterized individually by their charm and wit and in groups for their shouting and passion. Each carries the spark of genius and geniuses do not get along with each other, hence bringing together Puerto Ricans is easy, but creating a consensus amount them is almost impossible.

They do not talk about logic, because that involves reasoning and restraint and Puerto Ricans are hyperbolic and exaggerated. For example, if a Puerto Rican invites you to a restaurant to eat, you were invited not to the best restaurant in town, but the best restaurant in the world.

When they debate, they do not say, “I disagree with you,” but “you are absolutely wrong.”

They have cannibalistic tendencies, so then when they say to you, “He ate it.” It is an expression of admiration, and when they say to you “He ate a cable,” is an expression of a critical situation.

Puerto Ricans love contradictions so much that they called their beautiful women monsters and their scholars’ barbarians. If a health condition is afflicting you, they say, “Man, if you have told me about it, I would have taken you to a physician who is a horse.”

Puerto Ricans offer solutions before they know the problem. For them there is never a problem. They know what must be done to eradicate terrorism, prosecute Latin America, end hunger in Africa, pay the foreign debt, who should be president and how America can become a world power.

They do not understand why other people do not understand when their ideas are so simple, and why people do not want to learn to speak Spanish like them.

Ah, Puerto Ricans … We cannot live much with them, but we cannot live without them!

Dedicated with affection to the people of the best country in the World …

So, do you agree?

The barista and I had a brief conversation and it went like this:

Barista: May I please have your name sir?

Me: uh, Sam. (the uh comes into play in processing what the barista was asking me.)

Barista: uh, Sam. Ok, thank you.

That was it. I patiently waited for my drink to be prepared and once it was ready, I picked up my cup and saw the following on it:

Special.

At first I thought it was an acorn or something. The thought, which amazes me how fast it actually ran through my mind in such a short amount of time, was that a squirrel was throwing an acorn at me. Those of you reading this who may have laughed at that last sentence, you have yet to see the squirrels that roam the campus of Florida State University.

Photo of Squirrels most likely taken at Florida State University

Anyway, despite my quick thoughts, I found out very fast that this was not the attack of a squirrel but that of a bird. Apparently they were out to get me according to my brother in law Blake. Something about airsoft guns and being mean. Their method of attack was a bit of feces on my shirt and shorts.

So far my sister was the only one in the family to have the honor of getting pooped on by a bird. I had hoped to keep away from such an honor, but it was obviously not meant to be. If there’s anything to be thankful for in such a circumstance though, I will say I’m thankful this bird managed to fire when it did and not a second later. That really might have ruined my day.

HT to Adam McIntyre

I found this hilarious, especially as a Switchfoot fan. Thanks to Nat for sharing it with me.

So I got Nat to ‘fight’ with me and out of our two battles, she wins one and I win one. I think there will have to be a tie breaker.

Technorati Tags: Street Fighter IV, videogames, marketing videos,

Those of you who are Facebook friends may have seen it. Be prepared.

If you didn’t notice, that’s my face on that winning characters. This is a promotion for the new Street Fighter IV game. An update to the excellent Capcom series and king of fighter games. This is probably one of the best promos ever for a product. Head on over to My Fist in Your Face to try it out and then go to your local shop and pick up a copy of Street Fighter IV.

I wanted to do one with me fighting against Nat but she was already asleep and trying to wake her up to do this successfully just wasn’t going to happen. If you do one, please share a link or post it to your Facebook. I’d love to see it.

You deserve to see this.

Peanut Butter Jelly Dance from Samuel Febres on Vimeo.